My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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