what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
