So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
