happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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