I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
