He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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