I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
