The maid of honor just puked.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
