If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
