There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
