yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
