the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The power of my boobs compel you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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