just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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