We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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