I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
