So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
