lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
