just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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