despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
