like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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