High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I believe in your delicious
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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