he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
