This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
