and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
