apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im holly from the hills drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
