The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i out mim tonsoeep
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
