why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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