made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
