I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
