Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
