absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
