We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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