she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
