This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
