I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
