that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
