dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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