You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
