Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
