There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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