Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
