Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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