YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
