It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
