I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
