You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
