you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
