so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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