Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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