You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
is that a dick in a sweater?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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