I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
