You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
