i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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