i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize