Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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