Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
